Kal ho Naa Ho........

THIS IS NOT AT ALL FUNNY..ITS MY OBITUARY....

This is 21st December 2089 and we are here to celebrate(oops..commemorate) the death of prominent businessman and city big wig Mayank Lodha,who lived till the ripe old age of 99.He died in bed,in the arms of his 19 year old latest girlfriend who has been admitted in the local hospital,suffering from acute exhaustion after last night's encounter and would not be able to attend the funeral.He is survived by 2 sons,who are having difficulty in hiding the glee beneath their solemn looking faces and about a dozen other relatives he didn't ever give a shit about.None of his friends would make it to his final journey.Apparently,all of them are dead,some tortured to the painful ignominy by the deceased himself,who was literally a KILLER with his ultra boring talks and others,who died out of frustration about their dull sex lives.His neighbours remember him as a weirdo with a penchant for blasting loud music in the dead of the night,and are heartbroken to learn that their nights will now be silent bliss.His colleagues and subordinates at his very own"MayaCorp" have also collected to pay homage to whom they say,was an absent minded,inefficient and yet a so very confidently demanding and underpaying boss.His grand-daughter is saddened that she would not be able to defeat him any longer in a game of criss-cross.On rambling through his belongings and notes,we find that his teachers at school and college had found to be quite an engaging child and had gone on to describe how nerdy and insipid he really was.

His extremely personal closet was broken into in search of alleged diamonds or other treasures that the asshole had reportedly hidden and all we found was an after death wishlist instead.The contents of which are listed below:

1.A statue be erected by the MISERLY MARWARI SOCIETY in his honour,funds for which would be taken from his already underpaid staff.

2.His orkut status message to be changed to"Long Live Mayank"and a community of the same name,to be moderated by his lovely grand-daughter.

3.Distribution of absolutely new and fresh porn Cds across all IITs,alongwith a weeklong supply of booze.

4.His personal library be dismantled and all the books be donated to nerds like him,found in every nook and cranny one could venture into.

5. His precious T-shirts and jeans be burned with him,so that no one else would wear them.

6.He wants Eminem's grandson to prepare a rap song about him,and to be played during his last rites.

With this we conclude this obituary,remembering Mayank for the moron that he was.May his soul rest in Eternal Piss.