Having almost completed my "super succesful" B.Tech Degree in Mechanical Engineering without any major mishaps,I feel the urge to do what every "nice,goody two shoes and thinks too much of himself despite being a moron" senior does.I want to pass on the baton of knowledge that I have acquired during my four year stay at IIT.
Unfortunately, with an expertise of lazying around,sleeping and freeriding,I don’t have any real gyaan to pass on.The only thing in which I have complete expertise is "peace maarna" .This post will hence do a lot of good to people who cannot delegate work properly,cannot procrastinate or just sleep through or wade through most things and unfortunately end up doing almost all work themselves.I hope it changes a few lives.
Few pointers about "peace maarna/lukkhe rehna"
1. Since you have managed to find time to read this, you have the basic ingredients of being a good lazy good for nothing bum who always has time to kill,despite the rest of the department fretting over quizzes and assignments.
2. Remember great procrastinators,delegators and freeriders are never accused of being like that. If somebody starts accusing you of being one, eventually your luck will run out and you would have to start working.
3. Whenever you get a chance accuse others of being lazy.This creates a false impression that you are working hard.
4. Free riders need to have great interpersonal skills and brilliant communications skills. It also completely kills their ego. So don’t be embarrassed – Freeriding helps you in improving your personality.
5. Trust your teammates. This is the most important ingredient in forming any team. Trust them to do good quality work which would ensure good marks for you. Without trust you will have the unnecessary urge of cross checking, revising the work which would lead to waste of your valuable energy and resources.
6. Be aware at all times,about lazy professors who do not take attendance or give the same paper during exams.Take only their courses as electives and sleep for the whole semester.
7.Try and sit around the most sincere guy in class,whenever you attend so that he keeps a seat for you when there is a surprise quiz.
8.Also try to be as shameless and fearless as you can,because sometimes you will need to copy right under the professor's nose and only practice needs to a nonchalance in that field.
9.Never try to understand what you are copying in your assignments or quizzes.It wastes time and creates unnecessary panic.
10.If you do not understand symbols,notations,words or numbers due to the other person's handwriting or complete blank mindedness in the subject,Just think of yourself as a photocopying machine,and just create similar shapes on your sheet.
11. Be present on the first day of the class. This is the day the attendance policy,the prof's chillness and the course content (Bahh..Yawn) is foretold.This helps in forming strategy for the kind of approach a course is to be dealt with.
12. Indulge in a conversation before the class on the lines of how important the subject is and how much you want to study the subject. This will create an impression that you are really looking forward to study the subject.
13.Groups are generally formed for projects and assignment.Don't make groups in your wing.They know you and can come to your room and make you work.Select sincere group members from other hostels.
14. In the most ideal situation,Project yourself such that you are the only one who is very comfortable talking to all people in the group. This will effectively make you the CEO of the group. And as you know in a team CEO works the least.
15. If you are able to find a group where a geeky guy wants to impress a girl, Boss you just won a lottery. NEVER leave such a group (Should i explain more :-))This is precisely the reason one should be aware about all the gossip going around in class. Hence, Free riding also improves your general knowledge.
16. Start a chain mail 4-5 days before the final deadline asking the group to start contributing on the topic. Trust me, nobody is going to reply to the mail for the next 2 days. At the end of the two days, send a mail abusing the entire group of lack of seriousness.
17. If your image has taken slight hit,google the topic and copy paste the first 2 links and send in the mail. Nobody is going to bother to check the source, and would feel you are really doing some work.
18. Ego massage the hardest working person in the group. Generally, this is the breed of people who need an outlet to talk. Be that outlet. Tell them how you are the only one working on the project in the other course that you have.Show concern, tell them how much you want to help them but how helpless you are because of the useless group you have in the other subject.
19.For labs,Never attempt to understand experiments.Despite everything you do or do not do,You will anyway get a grade of 8,9 or 10 if you are okayishly smart and build a good rapport with the TA's.
20.Restrict your studying for Endsems to quizzes,past quizzes,assignments,tutorials.Do not care about all the theory junk because "Engineering is all about solving problems".
21.Be active on the Department Google group and keep asking questions regarding syllabus etc,so that you just go to the muggu before exams and tell him "Mujhe ye topic samajh nahi aa raha".Trust me,they will help you because it is their duty to be of service to mankind.Plus they get really pissed if you go and say "Solid Mechanics padha de"
Unfortunately, with an expertise of lazying around,sleeping and freeriding,I don’t have any real gyaan to pass on.The only thing in which I have complete expertise is "peace maarna" .This post will hence do a lot of good to people who cannot delegate work properly,cannot procrastinate or just sleep through or wade through most things and unfortunately end up doing almost all work themselves.I hope it changes a few lives.
Few pointers about "peace maarna/lukkhe rehna"
1. Since you have managed to find time to read this, you have the basic ingredients of being a good lazy good for nothing bum who always has time to kill,despite the rest of the department fretting over quizzes and assignments.
2. Remember great procrastinators,delegators and freeriders are never accused of being like that. If somebody starts accusing you of being one, eventually your luck will run out and you would have to start working.
3. Whenever you get a chance accuse others of being lazy.This creates a false impression that you are working hard.
4. Free riders need to have great interpersonal skills and brilliant communications skills. It also completely kills their ego. So don’t be embarrassed – Freeriding helps you in improving your personality.
5. Trust your teammates. This is the most important ingredient in forming any team. Trust them to do good quality work which would ensure good marks for you. Without trust you will have the unnecessary urge of cross checking, revising the work which would lead to waste of your valuable energy and resources.
6. Be aware at all times,about lazy professors who do not take attendance or give the same paper during exams.Take only their courses as electives and sleep for the whole semester.
7.Try and sit around the most sincere guy in class,whenever you attend so that he keeps a seat for you when there is a surprise quiz.
8.Also try to be as shameless and fearless as you can,because sometimes you will need to copy right under the professor's nose and only practice needs to a nonchalance in that field.
9.Never try to understand what you are copying in your assignments or quizzes.It wastes time and creates unnecessary panic.
10.If you do not understand symbols,notations,words or numbers due to the other person's handwriting or complete blank mindedness in the subject,Just think of yourself as a photocopying machine,and just create similar shapes on your sheet.
11. Be present on the first day of the class. This is the day the attendance policy,the prof's chillness and the course content (Bahh..Yawn) is foretold.This helps in forming strategy for the kind of approach a course is to be dealt with.
12. Indulge in a conversation before the class on the lines of how important the subject is and how much you want to study the subject. This will create an impression that you are really looking forward to study the subject.
13.Groups are generally formed for projects and assignment.Don't make groups in your wing.They know you and can come to your room and make you work.Select sincere group members from other hostels.
14. In the most ideal situation,Project yourself such that you are the only one who is very comfortable talking to all people in the group. This will effectively make you the CEO of the group. And as you know in a team CEO works the least.
15. If you are able to find a group where a geeky guy wants to impress a girl, Boss you just won a lottery. NEVER leave such a group (Should i explain more :-))This is precisely the reason one should be aware about all the gossip going around in class. Hence, Free riding also improves your general knowledge.
16. Start a chain mail 4-5 days before the final deadline asking the group to start contributing on the topic. Trust me, nobody is going to reply to the mail for the next 2 days. At the end of the two days, send a mail abusing the entire group of lack of seriousness.
17. If your image has taken slight hit,google the topic and copy paste the first 2 links and send in the mail. Nobody is going to bother to check the source, and would feel you are really doing some work.
18. Ego massage the hardest working person in the group. Generally, this is the breed of people who need an outlet to talk. Be that outlet. Tell them how you are the only one working on the project in the other course that you have.Show concern, tell them how much you want to help them but how helpless you are because of the useless group you have in the other subject.
19.For labs,Never attempt to understand experiments.Despite everything you do or do not do,You will anyway get a grade of 8,9 or 10 if you are okayishly smart and build a good rapport with the TA's.
20.Restrict your studying for Endsems to quizzes,past quizzes,assignments,tutorials.Do not care about all the theory junk because "Engineering is all about solving problems".
21.Be active on the Department Google group and keep asking questions regarding syllabus etc,so that you just go to the muggu before exams and tell him "Mujhe ye topic samajh nahi aa raha".Trust me,they will help you because it is their duty to be of service to mankind.Plus they get really pissed if you go and say "Solid Mechanics padha de"
