It all started on the fateful day when I got decent marks in Maths and Science in my Class 9th examination.I was happy then,but the butterfly's wings had flapped.My Odyssey towards disaster had begun.I was on my way.Good marks in 10th only made matters worse.Now I belonged to an entirely different class.The'creme de la creme',the elitists who would know how current flows through wires,but would never the flow of blood to the head,spurred by a soft feminine touch.I would learn to solve many complex equations and inequations,but one puzzle would keep me flummoxed forever.I would never know"What women want".
The final blow had been struck.Stormy winds had surfaced.Whatever little face to face interaction I had with petite and pretty ladies(read ogling or NSP) was now redundant.The science class was all about pulleys and weights,reactions and integrals and giving us august company were a bunch of GOD's own creatures,betraying the very concepts we had about the female structure.Majority of those NON-MALE species were monstrously chested (in the x axis not the z axis) and the amount of hair on their face and legs could put most boys in our class to shame.The neighbouring arts and commerce section however,was like a pilgrimage to us hungry bozos and we often paid our respects from a distance.It was also believed that girls had rather lenient morals and were quite inquisitive .However this was just a rumor.The truth-I would never know.Obedient and dutiful son that I was,I still listened to my parents preaching"Work hard beta,U'll surely get what you want".I couldn't tell them that all I wanted was a sneak peek at the ever so elusive female anatomy.But knowing that the writing on the wall was slowly but surely surfacing,that I was and had been proved a complete loser when it came to the opposite sex.In these depressing times,I found solace in the education and the recreation that some 18+ websites and the occasional late night muted movies(comprehending the plot of those plotless movies was quite an easy task.The sound only added effect to the beautiful visuals,thus was quite unnecessary)provided.Nevertheless I slogged relentlessly and shoved up formula after formula,concept after concept into my already inflating ass and finally made my way to a decent Engineering College.All changes bring hope and it was so,even in my case.The stark harsh reality struck me only when I actually got in there.The Arts girls(goddesses)were now gone.The distant ogling days were now a forlorn memory.The college suffered the fate of all other of its contemporaries with the most dismal beauty beast ratio(Who is the beauty and who is the beast is most debatable in an engineering college).The few good looking ones were taken in by the studs who came zooming in fast bikes and whirred out faster,using their brakes to good effect.Obviously they were good at giving other rides as well.The guys who scored in basketball games,scored in the dark and the coochikoos who plucked guitar strings,plucked g-strings with a surreal expertise.What remained was a highly frustrated and depressed lot of me's,always in search of their love(or lust).
Occasional trips to the city did revive our faith in the almighty.The same"Art like"kohl lined eyes,pendulum-ly oscillating posterior,electric smiles and sculpted figures silhouetting away past us,really brought sighs and smiles to our prof-tortured faces.Our otherwise high I.Q brains could never really grasp girls.These eyes,what they whisper,leave not even a clue in it for us.That eye blink,that suggestive head tilt,that intentional strand of hair that has to be put aside time and again,numb our mind to the extent that we understand nothing.May be something has been conveyed by sign language,but programming languages are the only kinds we understand.The storm has picked up velocity.
But as we know,hope is a good thing.We heard stories that once you land a decent job and own a hefty wallet,the girls come flocking.But as the old adage goes"Once a loser is a loser forever".After studying about cogs and machines and nuts and bolts,displaying a little presence of mind in the interview,and landing a 7 digit salary,my workplace still seems like an extended replica of my college.The female peers here are just much heavier,much uglier and much much more scarier. The eye candy we got from across the corridor and later away from our college in the city has now totally vanished.There is no going back now,i can only pick the remnants from my reminisces and daydream about it while i bang the keys on my keyboard sitting in my cubicle.The flutter of wings has finally become a tornado and I am amongst the thousands who have become casualties.
I am an engineer.
God Bless me....
