ODI Cricket Bids Adieu

Following the retirement of Sachin Tendulkar, Cricket has also decided to end its foray in the limited over format with immediate effect. “I have decided to retire from the One Day format because now it serves no real purpose, given that Tendulkar will not be playing. However, I will continue playing Test Cricket to prepare for the all-important IPL”-It said in a statement read out by BCCI Vice President Rajiv Shukla, who also added that the decision was made under no pressure whatsoever.

“I began my journey in the 1970’s, the same era when HE was born. Back then, people like Sunil Gavaskar, Ravi Shastri and Geoffrey Boycott used to bore crowds and put people to sleep by playing over after over and I wondered what my purpose was. It was only when he started playing that I discovered myself. And Yayyy, I even got people playing me in coloured uniforms, even though I never liked the Australian Yellow or the ridiculously red West Indian uniform. But to heck with all of that, I was the in thing and life was exciting, thanks to HIM and his exploits on the field. As against paan chewing office babus and enthusiastic young boys, even girls now came in throngs to watch me. How I blushed when they said they were “Cricket” lovers. Sigh, those were the days.

Like millions in his country, HE filled me with great joy when he went berserk against the yellow yellow dirty fellow Australians in Sharjah. HE also chose to save his best for me and my premier tournament-The World Cup, with all those centuries and memorable innings. But somehow, I kept eluding him. I will never forget the pride and gratefulness I felt when everyone dedicated India’s victory in my 2011 World Cup to HIM. Whom will India now dedicate its rare victories to, now that he is gone. Whom will they play world cups for. Virat Kohli, Who always keeps on abusing me, despite the fame I have given him or M.S Dhoni, who is too fixated with pitches and curators to think about improving his skills to play me better. Since yesterday, I am having bad dreams where Ravindra Jadeja and Piyush Chawla’s performances are being applauded and cheered. Moreover I also heard that Raju from Faridabad, Pappu from Bhopal and even Rosy from Mumbai will never watch me again. I will be played in empty stadiums and they will have to show players scratching their crotches as there will be no advertisements. Only DD-1 will telecast my matches because no one watches it anyways. No, I would rather face an honourable death of my own choosing than be insulted like that.

I would like to give my best to my older cousin, Test Cricket and my foster brother, the IPL who are yet lucky to be graced by his presence while I rot alone. Shahid Afridi has suggested that the first retirement is no fun and that I should take at least 17 retirements before ending my career. But no yaar, I shall come back only when God’s own son, Arjun Tendulkar decides to choose me as a career.

Thank you for all the good times, GOD

Sincerely, ODI Cricket.

The CineMagic of Barfi

It has been a good three days since I watched the movie. However these lines spoken by Ileana's character Shruti still ring in my years and that for me is the essence of the movie. That true love is that which is unplanned, out beyond the ideas of right and wrong doing, just a pure impulse of the heart, not at all premeditated or blemished by worldliness.

Barfi is sweetness, Barfi is cuteness, It is Chaplinesque innocence. It is silent yet colourful, It is so full of love, yet so tragic and heartbreaking. It is refreshingly funny, not at all sappy yet sentimental. Throughout the two and a half hours, you experience emotions ranging from pure delight to utter dismay to my favourite "Awwwww and Hawwww" moments, but not even for a fleeting moment does that smile leave your face ever since effervescent Ranbir Kapoor appears on the screen and engages the Police in a goose chase across the bylanes of Calcutta, recreated to timeless perfection. Even if you are the most cynical prick in the whole wide world, the movie does a commendable job of giving you hope and positivity!!!

The one thing that stands out for me about the movie is the very niche and never overtly sentimental treatment of Ranbir's disability which is clear from the funny yet tragic opening song whose lyrics go something like this "Radio on Hua, Amma off hui,Munna Mute hi Aansu Bahaaye".The initial portions—in which we see young love bloom between Shruti and Barfi—do try to steer clear of mawkishness and sympathy, managing to make us believe in an initially reluctant Shruti becoming gradually smitten by Barfi’s wordless charm and ability to make everyone smile.

However, Shruti goes ahead with the pragmatic and safe choice by marrying a suitable boy, although she is never able to forget Barfi for the next 6 years, and even beyond. The scene where Barfi realizes in the midst of throbbing rain, that he is not good enough to be with the girl he loves, there was not a dry eye in the theater.

When Priyanka Chopra's adorable autistic character, Jhilmil enters the movie,it picks up its pace and gets more interesting. In order to get his father's ailing kidney operated, Barfi attempts to rob a bank and fails at it with a hilarity beyond bounds. When he decides he will kidnap Jhilmil, the movie transgresses into a different plane altogether. Priyanka Chopra plays the autistic kid with such alacrity that it is achingly beautiful to look at her face, so often placed in Close Up. The relationship between her and Ranbir develops slowly where Ranbir evolves from a protective simpleton to a crazy die hard romantic who would tirelessly throw a shoe high up in the air, again and again, because he knows that she will see it, and he will go back to her. And yes, He does.

The model of true love in Barfi is actually the relationship between Barfi and the autistic Jhilmil. To the non-disabled, ‘normal’ Shruti, now the outsider in their wordless world, it is the only love that lives up to her childish vision of her grandparents, who lived together for ever and then died a day apart. But childish is the operative word here. The relationship between Barfi and Jhilmil may well be unplanned, spontaneous and untainted. But it is also uninhibited by the invariable crisscrossing of mutual expectations, or the occasional messiness of egos, or the essential frisson of desire. It is devoid, by its very nature, of any of the elements of real-life love as most people experience it. I ask myself, Is it actually pure love or pure fantasy??

The movie is a treasure trove of magic moments, right from Barfi offering his invisible heart to Shruti to that fleeting kiss between the two. The sequences where he tries to handle his heartbreak and also cope with his father’s illness, all so silently still give me goose-bumps. Barfi and Jhilmil’s intertwined little fingers as they sleep, gawky and open mouthed, when she chases him shouting his name and he can’t hear her, and then when the play around near that mound with the flashing mirrors and then fans him like a dutiful wife as he eats, or tries to copy the elegant Shruti by wearing a Saree, it leaves you with a taste that just melts in your mouth.

Pritam gives you some really soul searching music and a very subtle background score, which further places the film in an alternate universe. Silences seldom spoke so eloquently. It's been a while since we saw a film that set style at a subsidiary state to substance , put the characters' inner life ahead of the flamboyant manifestations of self-identity in a world governed sometimes by fake charm. 

It makes you wish that there was someone sitting beside you, to share and fight for that popcorn and laugh whole heartedly with you during those awesome comic sequences. You wish you could intertwine your little finger and hold each other’s hand like Jhilmil and Barfi and keep sitting like that forever. And Smile. Or better still, just keep looking at her smile. When you get lost a few times, you wish there was someone to bring you back from the trance that the movie creates. And then you get lost in something else altogether and move from one beautiful trance to another. And smile.
Finally, this is for you. When Shruti says that Barfi taught him that“Life mein sabse bada risk hota hai kabhi koi risk na lena”,It gave a very clear message. So let’s just risk it J J

The movie is beautiful,funny and heartbreaking.Go watch 

The Girl with the Red Umbrella

The rain steadily fell down from the darkened night sky on top of the city.The streets were covered in a sea of umbrellas, people streaming down the sidewalks in a rush to hurry back to dry and warm homes.Businesses were closing for the night, the only lights remaining coming from streetlights, bars & cafes.On one street, cars honked as the pedestrians flowed across the street, rushing to get to the other side, splashing puddles as they moved across the intersection.Amidst the dull colors of the night, a bright red umbrella just lay on the road,twirling in the wind,raindrops splattering from its canvass.It just shone on the road,like it was meant to be there,all by itself and the thronging crowd just passes it by.

He is walking at a brisk pace,wiping off rain beads off his forehead and adjusting his spectacles from time to time..The muffler he is wearing is completely wet and it's only the jacket that is shielding him from the spiteful wetness and the biting cold that it brings."Damn this unseasonal rain"-He mutters under his breath,clenches his jaw tight again and continues walking in the direction of a little-known, hole-in-the-wall cafe simply known as “Eternal”.It had been around for many decades, simply blending into the ever-evolving structures as the city expanded further into the skies.After a long and hard day at work,he used to go there every single day.It relaxed him.They played his favourite John Lennon and Pink Floyd songs and he just sat there,head thrown back against the couch,soaking everything in.In these moments of solitude,as is natural,his mind used to wander into the past.In his college days,he was a poet and so thinking long and hard and quietly came to him like a duck in water.He never really spoke much,just a flick of the hands to signal the waiter and two words "The Usual".His Caramel Coffee,warm and frothy would be presented and he would be relieved at the lack of social interaction henceforth.

One of the few remaining buildings of the past, it stood as a symbol of what once was a time of simplicity and enjoyment in the city.He took a deep breathe, inhaling the scents as they wrapped around him, drawing him into the building.The lights were dim, the mood was mellow, and the air was filled with warmth,quite different from the cold and frantic wet weather outside.

He had noticed the umbrella on the road and it had struck a chord in his heart somewhere.He felt like the umbrella itself,people oblivious of his existence.It wasn't as if he was unwanted,but there was this constant pinch inside him,that he is invisible.Just like the umbrella.However,that wasn't the reason he was lost tonight.

The song that played in the background also added to the thoughts and memories that played in his head.It happens,doesn't it.Sometimes each and every word,each and every thing around you,begins to make sense.Infact,sometimes it made a little too much sense.

"In all honesty, 

I wanna love like that.

With someone to lay my head on when it feels

like the weight of the world

rests all on my shoulders,

To vent to when the stress gets

to be too much, only to collapse

in her arms when all is said & done"

The song breaks and he is suddenly broken out of his trance.It's almost as if somebody shook him up and blew life into him again.In an awkward jiffy,he woke up,signalled to the waiter that he had paid his check and walked out.15 seconds.That's all it took for him to vanish.

He rushes home,now wet from head to toe,the drops dripping from his brow on the carpet and on the floor..His muddy shoes are cast aside and he switches the lights of his one room apartment.It is all familiar now.He begins to calm down.He can no longer be the careless brat he once was,even if he tried to,and so he changes into dry clothes,wipes his head with his mickey mouse towel that people in the apartment across gape and guffaw at,when he shaves in the balcony.He remembers his promises of taking care of himself,and only then,he goes back to his  thoughts...The Diary..Yes,he flutters across its pages,which are now yellow and pale..

The Date is of 6 years ago,18th August,2006.

"I remember the day I met you. It was raining; raining hard. It was sometime in April. I don't remember the day, but I remember how I felt; how I felt when I first saw you. You were standing at the corner of Mr Mehta's drugstore; with a red umbrella, sandals, black garbage bag. And you were smiling all to yourself. There wasn't anyone else around. It wasn't like I've never seen a beautiful girl before. Heck. It was just that I've never seen anyone so beautiful to make me feel like crying and laughing and dancing all at once. I didn't know exactly how, but my body drifted to your side. I got pulled into your orbit and I couldn't resist even if I wanted to. You must have thought I was crazy; me in front of you, drenched to my core; Standing there staring; not knowing what to say; but just staring at you under your gorgeous red umbrella. Long open hair,fluttering in the wind,copper coloured eyes, the dimple on your cheeks and chin as you just continued smiling. But you smile at me and I come back to earth. "Hi". You say "Hi". And then it's like I know you. Like I've always known you. The bag is tinging, clanging, rustling against your leg. You give me a little peak at all the aluminum cans you collected. There must have been at least forty, maybe 50. Then I ask you why you need all the cans for. "My masterpiece" you tell me. You say you're an artist. I ask you what kind. "The kind who makes art". Your laughter makes my chest ache. Not in a bad way; just because I want you so badly. I wanted you to know me, to go places with me; I wanted to stay at that corner with you. You tell me it was nice talking to me and you gotta get going. I'm sinking as you turn away from me. Sinking into myself; hopelessly immersed in you. Please don't go.My voice is lost, but found in time to say "Wait!" I call to you. You turn again towards me. I introduce myself; tell you my name; and I hated myself for stuttering. I tell you that I needed to see you again. Needed to. You tell me your name is Aarohi. From that moment I knew no name would ever sound so pretty to me as yours does. I knew I loved the girl with the Red umbrella.

Signing off

Krish"

How to become an Engineer,Peace Maar ke

Having almost completed my "super succesful" B.Tech Degree in Mechanical Engineering without any major mishaps,I feel the urge to do what every "nice,goody two shoes and thinks too much of himself despite being a moron" senior does.I want to pass on the baton of knowledge that I have acquired during my four year stay at IIT.
Unfortunately, with an expertise of lazying around,sleeping and freeriding,I don’t have any real gyaan to pass on.The only thing in which I have complete expertise is "peace maarna" .This post will hence do a lot of good to people who cannot delegate work properly,cannot procrastinate or just sleep through or wade through most things and unfortunately end up doing almost all work themselves.I hope it changes a few lives.

Few pointers about "peace maarna/lukkhe rehna" 
1. Since you have managed to find time to read this, you have the basic ingredients of being a good lazy good for nothing bum who always has time to kill,despite the rest of the department fretting over quizzes and assignments.
2. Remember great procrastinators,delegators and freeriders are never accused of being like that. If somebody starts accusing you of being one, eventually your luck will run out and you would have to start working. 
3. Whenever you get a chance accuse others of being lazy.This creates a false impression that you are working hard.
4. Free riders need to have great interpersonal skills and brilliant communications skills. It also completely kills their ego. So don’t be embarrassed – Freeriding helps you in improving your personality. 
5. Trust your teammates. This is the most important ingredient in forming any team. Trust them to do good quality work which would ensure good marks for you. Without trust you will have the unnecessary urge of cross checking, revising the work which would lead to waste of your valuable energy and resources. 
6. Be aware at all times,about lazy professors who do not take attendance or give the same paper during exams.Take only their courses as electives and sleep for the whole semester.
7.Try and sit around the most sincere guy in class,whenever you attend so that he keeps a seat for you when there is a surprise quiz.
8.Also try to be as shameless and fearless as you can,because sometimes you will need to copy right under the professor's nose and only practice needs to a nonchalance in that field.
9.Never try to understand what you are copying in your assignments or quizzes.It wastes time and creates unnecessary panic.
10.If you do not understand symbols,notations,words or numbers due to the other person's handwriting or complete blank mindedness in the subject,Just think of yourself as a photocopying machine,and just create similar shapes on your sheet.
11. Be present on the first day of the class. This is the day the attendance policy,the prof's chillness and the course content (Bahh..Yawn) is foretold.This helps in forming strategy for the kind of approach a course is to be dealt with.
12. Indulge in a conversation before the class on the lines of how important the subject is and how much you want to study the subject. This will create an impression that you are really looking forward to study the subject. 
13.Groups are generally formed for projects and assignment.Don't make groups in your wing.They know you and can come to your room and make you work.Select sincere group members from other hostels.
14. In the most ideal situation,Project yourself such that you are the only one who is very comfortable talking to all people in the group. This will effectively make you the CEO of the group. And as you know in a team CEO works the least.
15. If you are able to find a group where a geeky guy wants to impress a girl, Boss you just won a lottery. NEVER leave such a group (Should i explain more :-))This is precisely the reason one should be aware about all the gossip going around in class. Hence, Free riding also improves your general knowledge. 
16. Start a chain mail 4-5 days before the final deadline asking the group to start contributing on the topic. Trust me, nobody is going to reply to the mail for the next 2 days. At the end of the two days, send a mail abusing the entire group of lack of seriousness.
17. If your image has taken slight hit,google the topic and copy paste the first 2 links and send in the mail. Nobody is going to bother to check the source, and would feel you are really doing some work. 
18. Ego massage the hardest working person in the group. Generally, this is the breed of people who need an outlet to talk. Be that outlet. Tell them how you are the only one working on the project in the other course that you have.Show concern, tell them how much you want to help them but how helpless you are because of the useless group you have in the other subject. 
19.For labs,Never attempt to understand experiments.Despite everything you do or do not do,You will anyway get a grade of 8,9 or 10 if you are okayishly smart and build a good rapport with the TA's.
20.Restrict your studying for Endsems to quizzes,past quizzes,assignments,tutorials.Do not care about all the theory junk because "Engineering is all about solving problems".
21.Be active on the Department Google group and keep asking questions regarding syllabus etc,so that you just go to the muggu before exams and tell him "Mujhe ye topic samajh nahi aa raha".Trust me,they will help you because it is their duty to be of service to mankind.Plus they get really pissed if you go and say "Solid Mechanics padha de"

20 Awesome Pick up Lines

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For the past few days,I've got myself involved in a war of pick up lines with one of my dearest dearies,and we are getting rather good(read shameless) at it.Evil,Narcissist and crazy Guncha Sharma and Level headed ME present "20 awesome pickup lines" ranging from cute to cheesy to downright lame,taken from various sources on the good old Internet.Hope you enjoy them.

20. You must be at the wrong place-The Miss Universe contest is over there.

19. Are you an interior decorator? When I saw you the room became beautiful.

18. When God made you, he was showing off.

17. Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!

16. You shouldn't wear makeup.It's messing with perfection!

15. Smoking is hazardous to my health,and baby,you're killing me!

14. If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous.

13. Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

12. Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.

11. Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.

10. Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.

09. Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.  

08. The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

07. People call me Mayank,but you can call me tonight.

06. You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

05. Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it!!

04. If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice?

03. Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

02. (hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?

01. Be unique and different, just say yes.

Cheers.

PS:Do not try any of these on a real girl,please.I would not want my readers subjected to any kind of physical harm