Saturday, September 19, 2009

A Love-Hate relationship

The love teenagers share for social networking sites is no secret.Everyone loves to hate Orkut and Facebook.Now,calls for banning them are being made.I've decided that we all are far too addicted to Facebook to let it be banned.Rather,It would be much better just to crib and rant about it.
Reasons I hate Facebook for:
 1.Quizzes:
If there would ever be a reason why the owners of Facebook would have to bow before God and pay for their sins,paving their way into Inferno,it would be the ever so irritating quizzes.To call them only mindless and absolute nonsense would be considered their appraisal.For both the takers as well as the makers,I see no reason to indulge in these quizzes.Takers can for once be spared a thought as we people often(very often)have nothing to do,but don't the makers have a life.I believe that these guys were only born with half a brain and that too removed by extensive surgery,attended schools in Bangladesh and thereafte,read Paris Hilton lyrics and watched Scary Movie to improve upon their intelligence.Everytime you take a quiz,one of your brain cells is extinguished forever.
Some of the most typical facebook quizzes, which are also some of the worst, are as follows:
* What are your chances with Megan Fox? (it always gives a 100% result,Damn It)
* What are the initials of the person who truly loves you? (Usually something impossible like Q. Z.)
* How tall are you going to be? (It tells five footers that they're going to be 6'4" tall, thereby making them very happy.)
* What should your parents have truly named you? (My parents should have named me Xavier Milito.)
* When will you get pregnant? (it tells males that they will get pregnant the next year, strangely.)

2.Tagging
Why this sucks: The first time you are tagged, you might feel a mild interest in knowing that you are 'the sexy one' or 'the drunk one' or 'the handsome one'. However (besides being false), these tags lose their charm after you have been tagged every possible thing in 50 pictures every day. And the pictures get worse and worse - there have been pictures with 20 squares of different colors, and people have been tagged as one square or the other, with no explanation or logic whatsoever. This happens to an extent where you open the 'photos' section of someone you're interested in, and are flabbergasted to see boring tagged pictures instead of a beautiful face.

3.Friend Requests and Profile viewing:
This is dedicated to one of my very special friends and the joy I get reading her Orkut Scraps.The Ohh so immortal Orkut phrase-"I want to frandship with you","Hey beautiful,we can hit it off well.I am very frandly by nature and have all good habbits","Hey!dint relly knw much abt u (in ord wrds xcatly nthin) bt yeah hav herd alot frm ___.Can we be frands"and the like.Facebook with its friend requests being just requests and restricted profile viewing deprives me of the joys of snooping around and checking out beautifuk chicks.

4.Mafia Wars/Farmville :
Mafia Wars is the single most useless pastime known to mankind. For the uninitiated, it is a game on facebook in which you recruit a Mafia (made up of other facebook members), and do various 'jobs' (all by mouse clicks), and you earn points, and level up. That's it - there is no ultimate goal or anything.
It would be OK if facebook just let players of Mafia Wars play by themselves; after all, everyone should have the freedom to do whatever they want. But no, they must thrust it down our throats - half the posts on our wall announce that A has declared war on B, please help him and the other half ask us to please donate an item like a Monkey Statue or Plastic Dagger to person C.
Mafia Wars is closely matched in annoyingness and pointlessness by Farmville, where you - you guessed it - play a farmer and rescue 'lonely little cows' which 'wander into your farm,and also grow rotten tomatoes and stuff.Oh dear!' The only reason why Farmville is not worse than Mafia Wars is because less people play it.
However, both these pointless games serve as a warning - that people are so jobless that they'll keep clicking a mouse with no ultimate aim. Maybe Mafia Wars is a reflection of life itself - which for most people is a collection of tasks with no ultimate aim. 


5.STATUS MESSAGES:
Need I say more???????????/

What will happen after a few more years of facebook domination?

1. Everyone on facebook will become totally brainless, and babies will be the most intelligent beings on earth.
2. Facebook quizzes will be the preferred method of evaluation of children in schools, and facebook quizzes like 'What type of student are you?' will be used for admission into universities. For job interviews, more difficult quizzes like 'What colour is your aura?' will be used to differentiate the great from the useless.
3. People will not know who their real father, mother, brother or uncle is, but they will be immediately able to tell you which of their facebook friends is their 'Father of the Day' or 'Uncle of the Day'.
4. Posts like this will be the only ones on humor sites, because no one else will even understand any other forms of jokes.
5. Nobody will talk to each other unless they're friends on facebook first, and even then they will only chat.


Alternatives to facebook:


1. A life.
2. Rehab.
3. Joining the (real) Mafia and kicking some (real) ass.
4. Becoming a farmer and dying of boredom.
5. Getting into a relationship instead of lying about a non-existent one on facebook.
This concludes my feelings about Facebook.However,I'll still be taking quizzes,playing Mafia wars(Not farmville-rotten tomatoes and infested cabbages..Yuckk)and whiling away my ever so inexhaustible time.Happy Orkutting,Happy Facebooking and Happy TIME WASTING.
Cheers.....

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A Pyschedelic Treat..

The Porcupine Tree Mania has struck IITB real hard.Ever since the news hit campus,that indeed,Porcupine Tree was going to perform in India for the first time ever,and that too in MOOD INDIGO-09,students have gone into a frenzy.PT lovers are thrilled beyond measure and people who haven't heard of them(read ME)are pretending to like them,and have started listening to"Sound of Muzak","Lazarus"and the like,just so that they enjoy the electrifying night of 21st December,which they definitely will.
Now I found this interesting set of questions on Facebook and keeping in with the Porc flu,have attempted to answer them only in Songs by PT.Here we start then:

1.Are you a male or female? 
"Mother & Child Divided" 

2.Describe yourself:


"A Smart Kid"/"Prodigal"   




3.How do you feel:


"Shallow"/"Normal"/"I Find That I'm Not There"



4.Describe where you currently live:


 "On the Sunday of Life..."/"The Nostalgia Factory" 



5.If you could go anywhere, where would you go?


"Up the downstair"/Jupiter Island"



6.Your favourite form of transportation:


"The Burning Sky"/"Open Car"

7.Your best friend is:
"Intermediate Jesus"/"Pure Narcotic"


 8.Your favourite colour is:


"Black Dahlia"/"Blackest Eyes"/"The Colour of Air"    




9.What's the weather like:


"It will rain for a million years" :))


10.Favourite time of day:


 "Half-Light"/ "Dark Origins" 

11.If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:


"No reason to live,No reason to die"





12.What is life to you:


"Cure For Optimism"/ "Music for the head"/"Stupid Dream"/"Stranger By the Minute"

13.Your current relationship:
"She's moved on"/"The Start of Something Beautiful" (One thing led to another) :))

14.Breaking up:
"Glass Arm Shattering"/"Feel So Low"




15.Looking for:


"Footprints" /"Small Fish" 

16.Wouldn’t mind:
"Buying New Soul"/"This long silence"






17.Your fear:
"Fear of a Blank Planet"






18.What is the best advice you have to give:
"Prepare Yourself" /"Don't Hate Me"



19.If you could change your name, you would change it to:


"Lazarus"/"Novak"






20.Thought for the Day

 "Monuments Burn into Moments"/"Time Flies"
21.How I would like to die:
"Heartattack in a layby"/"A Delightful Suicide" 

22.My motto:
"Arriving Somewhere but not here"

And Finally,I leave,with a question
 "What Happens Now?"**

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I submit to thy allegiance-Google

Recently,The Internet turned all of 40 years old.Although it may sound really fable-ish,it's really hard to imagine life without Internet.Being a self-confessed obsessive Wikipedia and Google Fan,I'd be famished if these search engines were not at my disposal.
Wiki for example has one me many a weird bet like whether Nayan Mongia ever wore a yellow helmet.Yes he did and I got a free nimbu paani for my staunch and stubborn stance.Many a time,things that we can't recollect at that very instant,we google it.Name of the guy who hooks around with Megan Fox(God Screw Him)-Google It.From where has Pritam copied his latest Chartbuster-Google It.Code for a c++ program-Google it.The Latest movie review-Yet again,only two words-Google it.
And just rambling along or surfing as it is rather comically referred to,I found the above tool.Looking for something new to put up in my blog,I found a site called Wordle.net.Just paste the link of your webpage there and you get an image like the one above,with words from your own blog.
Cheers..Until the Next
n PS:Who's miss"Work-hard"??Thanks for your generous comments.But please come forth.

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