Insanic Verses

THE DUMMY

In that forgotten part of town

Where wasted hopes and dreams abound,

A wrinkled man with life near end,

In hopes to have at least one friend,

Fashioned bits of wood and things

And made a dummy run by strings.

He sat alone for hours on end,

Conversing with his only friend

And found delight within the fact

That he controlled it's every act.

He told it how he never had a chance,

since all his luck was bad

Although he'd tried so to succeed -The dummy nodded and agreed.

And how his journeys in romance

Had never given him a chance,

And wasn't it a crying shame

That he was always held to blame

When everyone knew, oh so well,

That life is but a living Hell,

Controlled by lust and power and greed?

The dummy nodded and agreed.

With patience that would rival saints,

That dummy sat through all complaints

And, with each little expert tug,

He'd droop his head or bow or shrug

And give some comfort to the man

Who held his lifelines in his hand

And helped to fill a lonely need

When he just nodded and agreed.

Senility increased with time

As did the old man's phantomime,

And feverish fingers pulled with glee

The dummy's dance of misery.

They never left each other's side

Until the day both stopped and died.

We found them lying, hand in hand,

The dummy - and his wooden friend.

CAN I CALL U ANGEL

The snow fell,

leaving a halo of white upon your head,

and that's when I said,"Can I call you Angel?"

You looked at me with surprise,

but I could see it in your eyes, and I knew.

As you sang silent night,

your beautiful voice put me at ease,

and I asked please,"Can I call you Angel?"

A smile came to your face with serenity and grace,

but you said not a word.

In my darkest hours you held my hand,

never leaving my side,

and I said, while I cried,

"Can I call you Angel? "

You then began to wipe the tears away and erase all the gray in my life.

You led me down a path of gold,

telling me of the creator above,

and again I asked with a greater love,

"Can I call you Angel?"

You never answered my plea,

so I fell to my knee in prayer.

As I opened my eyes, I could see you before me;

Your wings spread and a golden halo upon your head

and one last time I said,

"_____, can I call you Angel?"

WHAT IF SHE LEAVES WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE

If you don't say goodbye,

Before you turn and leave.

What am I supposed to do,

Except to cry and grieve?!

I thought our friendship was special,

I thought it meant a lot.

If you felt the same way,

Why are we stuck in this knot?

I don't like good-byes,

But in this we have no choice.

If you won't speak to me,

the good-bye's will come from MY voice.

We've managed through other fights,

But this one's not the same.

I'm not having any fun,

And I won't to stop this game.

I'm not good at soirees,

So I'll do my best with this.

I have one last request,

It is my goodbye wish.

I wish that we were friends again,

Before WE say GOODBYE.

Now that this is off my chest,

I wait and sit and sigh.

Cheers,Readers...C ya until Next time.

The Ride so far.....

Inspite of all if's and buts,all pros and cons,having dispelled the lazy demons within me and Finally,I have summoned the fingers of my lethargic left hand to type and inspite of all my laziness,decided to venture into the virtual world of Planet Blogosphere.

All my thoughts,creations,incidents and dreams are now put forth for you to read,judge n critic.This is something that I had always wanted to do.But somehow,I could not gather the confidence or the courage to shed my inhibitions and bare my weaknesses to the world..Time and Fate intervened,changed my thought process and here I am..But I feel the urge to tell you why this blog exists and so..Here we start...

I was a student in BANSAL CLASSES,Kota for the last three years,preparing for IITJEE,which to me,like many others,was the ultimate path towards seeking a bright future.This long time that I spent there had to have a very profound effect on me and it did shape me as I am today.Being a small town and very shy guy with virtually nil experience of what city life was like,I was initially lost in the midst of thronging young brilliant minds.The mundane,monotonous and stress filled life there had jabbed and poked at my pysche.I began to feel like a lost kid in a Kumbh fair with crowds hustling past,paying no heed.In short I was just another face in the crowd and was splashing away frantically in those rising waters. Being a slow learner,It did take me considerable time to find my footing.I now knew my limits and practically "modestified" my expectations from myself.And I immersed myself into Maths,Physics and Chemistry.

Friends were now a scarce commodity and I sorely missed my school days.Few of them were definitely in touch and those sweet memories did keep me running.Although we found ourselves very busy due to the hectic curriculum and cut-throat competitive life there,surely there were times when I was alone,with myself.A thousand thoughts came and went and an internal tug of war took place in my mind.There was nowhere to escape from this constant tussle and that was when I sought refuge.I needed desperately some thing to help me fill the spiritual and emotional void in my life,to bring me in sync with myself,and thus I began to write.I had found a frnd finally,Infact two of them,my pen and my Diary...

No matter how hostile Kota was,I did learn a lot about life there.It deserves a very special place in my life.I learnt about self-discipline and sticking to my purpose while watching others either swayinng away from it or just cruising their way to glory,with the assistance of their superior intellect.I learnt what the world was like outside the confines of my home.I shed my fear of darkness and loneliness.It made me a more sensitive human being.I learnt more about myself and thus brought me closer to GOD.The truths about love and friendship were bared to me in that dust bowl of a city.Distances brought many people closer to me and today I'd vouch that they will find me by their side,whenever they need me.I learnt what it was to work persistently hard for something ,that deep down,you knew you may not achieve..and I didn't achieve it..I failed...the first time.

It showed me what failure was like..At a very young age,(barely 16)I had seen life's many colours.It had taken me from smooth expressways to pothole filled roads and my engines did break down at that point.Two very special people(apart from my parents,of course) believed in me,more than I myself did and instilled that new vigour and will in me to go for it..One more year thus passed and I did reasonably well this time around.

And today I have realised atleast my first dream.I am now in IIT Bombay,enjoying the freedom n independence that one associates with college life.Having loads of fun and soaking in these masti-filled moments but the quest for knowledge,both about life and science,is still on.Also I have now discovered that writing was always my INNER CALL and I'm glad that i have managed to listen to it(after many snoozes of course).

"I may not be good,But I strive to be the best.

I may not be swift,But I will Run.

I may not succeed,But I will not fail

I may not find my paradise,But I will get my heaven"

This sums up my sojourn thus far..My next post will be My poems and then one on Life and times in IITB(The fun we have ).Hope you appreciate them.

Please keep posting your valuable comments and feedback and feel free to bullshit my writings if u feel they are worthless enough.The Steering may be in my hands but this Blog-o-car also belongs to my readers.You all are the ones who will be my rehab if I ever begin to drink and drive.Cheers..I'll be back..Soon enough..