And It's Children's Day

I always feel very enthused about this day,since I've always been the pampered little kid in the family,and in my various friend circles.I 've always believed in taking life a little less seriously and hence the perception of me being kiddish and immature.And well,I don't really mind it.I thought of reliving my childhood and found a few pictures.

This was in Panchsheel, Kolkata.Mixed Memories of that Place.Gave me some very good friends whom I am so pleased to reconnect with.Ankita, Vedansh,Harsh, Ritika.Those were awesome times.

With Dadaji on my Second or Third Birthday I guess.Dadaji has a  very funny story about this,where I made people who did not bring me gifts,sit in a desolute corner and did not give them sweets :) :)

I'm less than a year old in this.Rajasthan 1991.We used to go on so many holidays in those days.Until my Nuisance of a little sister was born :P

During our Trip to Nainital 1992-93.Who knew back then,that this would become Home.Dad tells me he used to block my vision when we passed by this Arcade store.I was infatuated with this little red car :)

Kharagpur at Nani's place with my Great Grandmom (Nanaji's Mother).I am so confused as to why Mom  used to dress me up like a girl and that too with all the winter clothing in bloody Tropical Kharagpur.

Mom and Dad were so lean back then.This must be  the only time in life that I would have worn a Kurta.This is in Shikharji,a Jain Teerth in Bihar,after performing a long tedious Puja.

The Beginnings of my Craziness towards the game of Cricket.I still love watching and playing this incredible game,though am not that good at it.Do not know where this is,probably on a holiday. 

If I am not wrong,this is Raju Mama.Used to have so much fun at his place.He along with Sangeeta Maasi  were the ones who nurtured and tapped my reading habit in and satiated my urge for more books 

In Nainital with an unbelievably lean and Moustached version of Dad.I loved this place then,and still love it.The peaceful life and the awesome people.

Rockstar,Ranbir,Rahman,Review

Like many others,I had been waiting for the  movie to release since the music had already enraptured me.And it was definitely a movie worth the wait.Though the story seems a little undercooked and hurried due to the non-linear narrative with the umpteen flashbacks that Imtiaz Ali takes you through,his superb direction makes up for all that.The visuals of Prague,Kashmir and Delhi are captured beautifully,especially the concert venue scenes at the very beginning of the movie.
Rockstar is an out and out Ranbir Kapoor film.In fact he is better than the movie actually is.His bittersweet journey from being a naive and innocent youngster who just wants to strum his guitar and sing,to a jilted and heartbroken lover who is frustrated and angry inside despite being a superstar,is exhilarating indeed,with all the emotional ups and downs that he goes through.He becomes the anti-hero like his Idol Jim Morrison,with a Che Guevara dressing sense though,a rebellious character who shows the finger to the law,in a moment of cinematic brilliance.All his anger,finds release in his music and he becomes a rage.However,his stage persona "Jordan" is still the good old "Janardhan" inside.In an extremely heartfelt confession to his canteen buddy,he says "This was all I wanted.Why am I not happy still.Even I do not like myself like this".Ranbir puts up a pitch perfect performance revelling in Jordan's complexities and conflicts.The graph of his character undergoes so many changes and he adjusts with the paucity of a veteran who knows his craft.Just to see him work his magic on screen in those concert scenes or when he tells Nargis on the phone that we are meant to be together,Rockstar is a must watch.
And Thank you,A.R Rahman,Mohit Chauhan and Imtiaz Ali for this awesome ensemble of songs which keep the movie alive and hold the viewers to their seats.From the absolutely heart rendering romantic track "Tum Ho" to the rebellious "Saadda Haq",the soulful "Kun faya" or my personal favourite "Nadaan Parindey",all songs are very much part of the movie and in fact,enhance the entire experience.
The love story is beautiful in places,especially in places when they make lists to do all the stuff that is forbidden like watching "Jungli Jawani" and drinking country liquor.Nargis realizes that she is straying from her path,being a married woman,but the power of love,indeed is so strong,it does not recognize practicality and what follows is a passionate and volatile tale.They both control each other's lives,it is the relationship and just being with each other,which keeps Ranbir sane and Nargis,alive.
Imtiaz Ali has already proved he is a master narrator of the contemporary love story but he fails to live up to his reputation somewhat.He is a little loose on the narrative and we sense an abrupt growth instead of a gradual one in his lead character's persona.However,given the complexity of emotions involved in the subject of choice and the performances he extracts from all actors,with Ranbir towering above everybody else,his trademark witty dialogues with that inherent Punjabi-ness and the beautiful gift of absolutely mindblowing music that he gives his audience,Rockstar is a MUST WATCH.You will not even for a moment realise that the movie is actually three hours long.
Go and watch it,for Rahman,Ranbir and Imtiaz's impeccable vision.

10 places where the New Season of Two and a Half Men falters

It has been seven weeks since the 9th season of "Two and a Half Men" began and I must now confess,that indeed,the show is a pale shadow of itself without the alcohol addict,drug addict,effortlessly charming womanizer that Charlie Sheen was.Ashton Kutcher tries hard but the show is yet to really take off and is even beginning to disappoint.

Too much build up: Even after 7 episodes you still end up feeling that the season has only just begun.It is understood that justifying where Walden came from and how does Alan,predictably,stick up with him,would take some time and I give Chuck Lorre that.But even beyond that,the show seems to be going nowhere.It has become really slow and sluggish for a sitcom.
Walden Schmidt : He is immature,he is handsome,he is rich and lovable and yet he does not seem to be coming out strong.The angle about his wife leaving him and him continuously crying about it is not funny at all and tends to make him look like Alan,which is not good at all."Men" needs Walden as a strong central character,who is "No Holds Barred" and not the  naive and sometimes stupid sissy that he currently is.I see some signs of him evolving into that,but again it has all been really slow.
Too much Alan Harper : When the show began,you felt sorry for Alan and his episodes with women.Slowly he evolved into an irritating and miserly pest who would not leave his brother's house.Charlie would insult him and we all would laugh because yes,he deserved all that.It was always about him being a pest and Charlie keeping him in his rightful place.However during this buildup,he has to hold the show together,which sadly is beyond him.With no one to make fun of him anymore,he tries doing so himself and ends up overdoing it.Alan is somebody who makes you want to pull your hair out and hence,is unbearable for an extended length of time.
Jake Harper,Grow up : The kid was adorable,stupid and it was funny when you made fun of his toilet habits.But now he is 17-18 years old.Enough with the fart-burp-poop jokes already.He is beginning to cut a sorry picture like the rest of the characters on the show and desperately needs a revival.His dumb antics when he was kid were indeed endearing but he never became the womanizer that Charlie had trained him for,in all these years.Jake used to lift the show earlier,now he is just an under used and redundant character.
The Charlie Jokes : There is too much of crude humour lambasting Charlie Sheen which sounded funny earlier on.You could hear what people really thought of him,after he died and it sounded interesting.But now the jokes reek of some kind of personal vendetta that Lorre holds against him and hence,it is so not cool.Moreover it makes you miss him,all the more.
Berta Oh Berta : Her punches are mostly top class and she could do so much more.As of now,she seems to be a content character,who is enjoying her time in the house,not bothered by,and indifferent to whatever is going on.We could do with a little more Alan bashing from Berta's side.
Will everyone stop hooking up with Walden : Yes,we love the random beautiful hotbods who used to be a feature of the show in the good old days.But Alan's wife,then Berta's fantasies and now Alan's repugnant mother-Please make the show a little hotter and not sicker.
Bridget and the need for a new woman : The women have accentuated the show's humour be it the excellent and psychotic stalker that Kate was,or the ample bossomed beauty that Chelsea was.The show needs a new female character,preferably someone hot.Bridget needs more screen time and please do not let her go the ex-hating and ex-insulting way that Jake's mom has.
A Character whom you  do not feel sorry for: There have to be different people,who react differently to create funny situations and laugh riots.As of now,all the 3 "MEN" have similar shades and are stuck in loser limbo.Preferably Walden or even Jake could shake that off and become cooler and likable.
The Essence of the show : It was also about promiscuity,hooking up with women,inappropriate and yet hilariously funny sexual banter.It would be unfair to the characters above but Charlie really did BRING IT  to the show.Try and get that back.It would not be what it was,but it will still be better than what I have currently being forced to watch,week after week

We miss you Charlie Harper.

An open letter to the H.R.D ministry

This was published on News That Matters Not.Check out the post HERE

Disrespected and Ill-reputed Minister,

I begin with my heartiest congratulations to the Indian government and the Ministry for HRD for their latest brain freeze. I believe Om Puri is absolutely correct when he says what he says. I’d even have to agree to the news flashes on India TV that say, “Mantriyo ke CT scan mein unhe paaya gaya dimaag rahit”. Please tell me all this is indeed a bad dream, and you are making an April fool out of us; a liitle late though you are, having probably borrowed S. M. Krishna’s calendar.

There is inflation (increasing petrol prices by a factor of π is a serious insult to Archimedes), corruption, terrorism, and so many other things you can pass your time with. Or, you can even condemn terrorist attacks for a pastime (if there’s no such attack to condemn, start condemning every rape and murder), and we still won’t say anything. You can be the conniving bitch and attempt to demean noble souls by conjuring up a humongous 2.2 lakh scam. We, the gullible Indian public, will not even blink if you go ahead and do a petty 1000 crore scam of your own. (And, if you think we will blink, you can always go on a 3-day fast to redeem yourself.)

But this,you fool, is absolutely unacceptable. You are playing with the lives and dreams of an entire generation with your stupid schemes and utopian ideas. For your information, IITs and IIMs are the institutes which put India on the world map. Opening up dozens of them has already diluted Brand IIT, but it seems you aren’t satisfied yet. The “Man on a Mission” that you are, I believe you will rest only when you blend IITs with the mediocrity that the rest of our country is used to.

Let me tell you where you exactly went wrong.

The first time it was when you opened so many new IITs to “provide better opportunities” to the students. The students know they aren’t as good. The companies know they aren’t as good and there goes your money down the drain with seats in these “IIT’s” lying vacant. You could have waited a few years until you had the infrastructure or the academia to match the ones existing. But no, you are like the “colony ke naïve Sharma uncle and Geeta aunty” who think “IIT, Arre waah bahut Badhiya”. You sought to just milk the IITs’ existing reputation with little substance to back your claims and thereby diluted it to no end, for selfish votebank issues. Trust me,even the slightly educated are NOT voting for you in the next elections.

Then, you went ahead and said that you will give a greater weightage in admissions to Board marks to end the coaching menace, thus “reducing the stress and financial burden on the students”. It could have been a good idea, if the Board exams weren’t unfortunately a test of rote learning instead of understanding. For all I know, the examination system in India ain’t changing until my grandson dies, and hence your proposal is crap. Also, the Andhra Board gives 95% marks away like lollipops and the UP board gives 85% marks to the toppers with a contorted face. How will a bunch of over-intelligent people like you normalize these scores to ensure uniformity? Probably you’ll hire people like yourself and come up with some other superb innovation. For all you care, you might have just extinguished the dreams of lakhs of small-town students.

Jairam Ramesh may have been correct in his assessment that IIT professors are “not that good”. And your noble schemes, I’m glad to announce, will bring in similar “not so good” students into IITs, thereby solving the problem of mismatch. Brilliant. But I can only warn you about the rigours of IITs. A student who has lived in your “stress-free” environment might not be able to handle it and we may have more cases of you-know-what. Isn’t there enough blood on your hands already, minister??

The one-exam-for-all proposal is another example of how Early Man used to function, when his brain was not fully developed. If I get ill on the eve of this ONE EXAM or maybe spoil my paper, tell me where do I go. We are middle-class people, unlike you. We like to have a backup and hence the JEE, AIEEE combination made some sense. Yeah, you did not think of that. I will not say that JEE is something prestigious and should be put on a pedestal and worshipped but the one thing it has done across 50 years, is that it has given to India, some really extraordinary and eminent people.

The payback scheme is another absolutely superb idea. Seriously, who all were in the drafting committee?? My guess: Rakhi Sawant, Navjot Sidhu, Bappi Lahiri, KRK and Arindam Chaudhury and of course You, sir. Such capitalist nonsense could have been brewed only by these geniuses. You say that the fees are insufficient to support IIT and yes I agree to a large extent. But then, where does the money that we do pay, go?? At IIT-B, we live in 6×8 rooms, face frequent water shortage and eat food that is at best cow worthy. Where does the money go?? I think we all know where.

An average IITian earns Rs 6–8 lakhs per annum at the beginning of his career (contrary to the popular and misplaced belief), and if he lives in an expensive city like Mumbai or Bangalore, from where in hell will he bring the money to pay you back? And why is this duty of payback only imposed on the general-category students. The “Others” who live with them, study the same subjects, use the same facilities and get similar paying jobs in the end. Why can they also not support IITs? Is it only the general category’s job to help support the IITs, even though they are slowly being marginalised by the ridiculous malaise of reservation? How much will you keep screwing us, sir, over and over again?

If you really must, increase the fees marginally and gradually. Rope in well-positioned alumni for funding. They are more than generous and willing to help their alma mater. We understand our duties towards IIT and if and when we can, take my word, we surely will contribute. Do not burden a free spirit at the very onset of his career.

Here is a suggestion, which could be useful if I already am not sounding like RSS to you. Go ahead with the unification. It is indeed needed and I am all for it, considering how chaotic it is. But, begin from the beginning at least. You cannot expect Suresh Raina to hit sixes off short pitched balls when all he has done his entire life is, thwacked knee-heighters over midwicket. Give the students a Unified Board Exam first. Standardise that according to the needs of higher education, and consult some sensible people. It is going to take some doing to manage all of that, but why opt for the easy-but-damaging way out! For God’s sake, do not tamper with higher education without improving and implementing things at the grass root primary and higher secondary level.

I can only hope you get some perspective and leave IIT alone. My worst fear is of you trying to make the IIT curriculum less rigorous and hence produce lazy, good-for-nothing, unskilled engineers instead of the well-polished ones. That would indeed be Doomsday. There was a lot more to say but I am fearful you will teargas me. Or you might just unearth the scandal of the Unpaid Booze I sneaked into campus last night, and put me in for life.

Yours Truly
An IITian who is relieved he is passing out before you mess things up

Emily and Oliver :My first short story

Emily and Oliver meet over the Internet and gel instantly, God knows why and how. Their friendship stands the test of time, each other's moodiness,and above all,distance.They become really close despite the fact it all sounds so strange.
However, soon enough,Oliver begins to get attracted to Emily.He tries flirting with other girls to get his mind off her but realises, that he is head over heels smitten. And thus begins a great romance which ruins a perfect friendship.
Oliver decides to do nothing about it for the sake of their friendship (He is a naive and stupid guy) He knows that it ain't gonna happen and has accepted it but is too fucked up and loves her just too much to move on. Emily on the other hand, knows all of this and acts like a typical girl. Waits for him to make the move.
And then one evening, A thought just hits Emily, and without really thinking she texts Oliver "Do you realize that it has been 4 years since we first met on the Net"
After this, there is silence. A very loud silence at that.
Emily is thinking-"Geez,I think it bothers him. Maybe he now feels frustrated and confined. Maybe my companionship is turning into an obligation for him. Maybe that is why he is just so sweet all the time"
And Oliver is thinking-"To hell with this friendship crap. Do it you moron, Do it. It has been 4 years you loser, she just spelt it out for you. But hey, What would I do without her. If she says no, surely we can never be friends"
And Emily is thinking "Am I attracted to him?? Naahhh. I like him a lot but do I want us to have a relationship. Sometimes ,I wish I'd really have time and space to think clearly. Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy. He's hung around for such a long time and been there always.I do not even know how I feel about him."
And Oliver is thinking "Hmm..So it has really been 4 years. Yeah, she sent me the Friend request in August 2007, which was right after I bought my bike. Fuck, it is due for servicing now.
And Emily is thinking"He is upset.I can sense it.I am a girl after all.We sense these things.Maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed it-that I had some reservations. Yes,I bet that's it.That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected"
And Oliver is thinking"And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again.I don't care what those punks say, its not shifting right. Damn you incompetent thieves. Did I reply to Emily's text.Shit.Emily"
And Emily is thinking-"He must be pissed.He must surely be angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. God,I feel so guilty knowing all this and putting him through all this.But I can't help the way I feel.I'm just not sure and I do not want to lose him either"
And Oliver is thinking-"They'll probably say it's only a 6 month warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say.Scumbags.Where the hell is my phone.Did I reply already?
And Emily is thinking-"Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his horse ,when Oliver is a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly care about, a person who seems to care about me.A person who is in pain because of my self centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.”
And Oliver is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their god damn warranty ass.
'Oliver,'' Emily calls him on his cellphone.
''What?'' says Oliver, startled at the sudden call ''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears.
''Maybe I should never have . . Oh God, I feel so .... .'' 
(She breaks down, sobbing.) 
''I'm such a fool,''
''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'' 
''There's no horse?'' says a puzzled Oliver
''You think I'm a heartless bitch, don't you?'' Emily says.
''No!'' says Oliver, glad to finally know the correct answer. ''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I have some reservations.I need a little time'' Emily says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Oliver, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response.Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) '
'Yes. It's fine,'' he says
(Emily is deeply moved.)
 'Oh, Oliver, do you really feel that way?'' she says.
 ''What way?'' says Oliver. ''That way about time,'' says Emily
''Oh,'' says Oliver (I have no clue in hell what TIME is she talking about). ''Yes.''
(Emily sighs and takes a long pause, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
'Thank you, Oliver,'' she says.
'What for? It's me sweety,'' says Oliver.
Then they both go to their homes, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Oliver gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Lays, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back then when Emily had called, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Oliver's policy regarding world hunger,the nuclear war,recession and football)All that he wonders is"Did Emily ever own a freaking horse?''

Tall amidst the ruins

I never thought I would do a post on any sports person other than Sachin Tendulkar ,considering that I have followed him and his game like a crazy stalker since I learnt that cricket is not called "Bat-Ball".Anyways,here is the post on Sachin.But today,The "Bloglight" is solely on the greatest Test Batsman India has ever produced-Rahul Dravid

I must confess that I have never been, and probably will never be a fan of Dravid's strokeplay as such but if there was ever a team man you could bank upon to play cricket for your life , it would be him.He does not have Sehwag's flair , Laxman's wrists,Tendulkar's grace or Ganguly's silken timing,but he has a countless reservoir of grit.He is always prepared to graft it out,bide his time and will ultimately grind the bowler into submission.You will never feel that he is dominating the bowling or is in complete control.Sweat pouring from his helmet ,a grim look on his face-You might be misled into believing that he is struggling for runs,scoring 27 runs from 67 balls,but just try asking the bowlers about it."We do not know how we get him out" is what they will tell you.

To him,Cricket is not a sport about poetic grace or effortless elegance.It is war.And war is always about survival,about making it to the end, unperturbed by the falling bodies of your fellow soldiers , just focussed on getting that flag on that mountain , and just batting on and on..Oops..I meant fighting on.

The physical effort that he puts into his batting notwithstanding,his game is more about the mental aspect.To live each moment of your career in the shadow of two greats who were always the cynosure of the public eye, being neglected like a step son and almost being taken for granted every time,and above all,dealing with all of this with understated nonchalance and a very deft sense of humour, never taking the focus off your game.Any normal human being would wilt under this kind of treatment,despite doing almost everything for the team.Not him though.

He would keep wickets to ensure the team's balance ,lead the country astutely despite a publicly known reluctance just because of a lack of options and the fact that Sachin will not captain the side, even if he is playing alone in it.He would open the batting in Test Cricket whenever needed,despite a known discomfort and yet crack 3 centuries in four matches.Less athletic he will be deemed and take more than 200 catches for his country.He will be criticized for his "slow" batting and end up scoring  almost 11000 runs in ODI's top scoring in a World Cup on the way.That's just him.He just does his job.

The 270 in Pakistan , the 233 at Adelaide ,All those centuries in England (7 in total) along with numerous other efforts are etched in my cricketing memorabilia,but my favourite Dravid innings is the 180 against Australia at Eden Gardens in "THE MATCH" as we now  fondly recall it.People always talk about Laxman's 281 but you should have seen his tenacity in that innings.He was struggling for runs before that game and I have never seen him so emotional and aggressive after scoring a 100 ever.Laxman subdued them with his wristy flicks and drives but it was Dravid who really dented their morale.14th March 2001 was the turning point in both Dravid's career and Indian Cricket and yes,I was there

It is time that we honour and respect the contribution that this man has made to the annals of Indian Cricketing History.A more selfless and dignified cricketer ,you will never find.13000 Test runs,11000 ODI runs,200 + catches and 15 years of a stellar career,building an unparalleled reputation,I would only have one line to end this post

"If Sachin deserves a Bharat Ratna, Dravid deserves it twice as much"

The Boy who will "Live on"

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-Part 2 was just premiered in London a couple of days ago and I felt a rush of sudden uninhibited emotion.As 15th July nears,I get mixed feelings-both of excitement and a tinge of sadness.It will be last we hear of  the bespectacled and gritty wizard ,of his mysterious and long bearded headmaster ,of the beautiful undercurrent of Ron and Hermione's feelings for each other.The last time that we will be seeing the bumbling and clumsy Hagrid or the curt and yet so courageous Snape.If you feel that I am treating Harry Potter as something more than just a book,I cannot help it.The bottom line is that IT IS NOT JUST A BOOK.
Like scores of others my age,I have grown up with Harry Potter.There are vivid and clear memories of that summer in 1999 when Dad gifted me The Sorcerer's Stone saying that the book was a rage according to a well read colleague of his.Thank you Dad and his colleague for filling me childhood with such enchanting memories.The  first book was a total joyride.Speaking portraits,moving stairs,wands,spells,potions and the battle of good against evil-Now that I think of it,Harry Potter is just an elaborate tale based on a very simple premise.Yet,at that age it connected with me so strongly that the bond remains.Every book that came out since then has been chased and relishingly devoured by me like a greyhound.And like so many of my posts,Kota and Nirvaan Baid deserve a mention.Renting Goblet,Order and Half-Blood Prince at Rs 25 a day and then reading them all through the night just to relax after those review tests was after all,his ingenious idea.I remember crying like a baby when I finished with Hallows,realizing that indeed this is it. Voldemort is dead and as J.K Rowling so fittingly ended it with-All was well (Which Raju Hirani plagiarised :P ) and there is no doubt in my mind,that the movie will also end with me all blurry eyed and lumpy in the throat.
There are just so many memories that they will render this post incessantly lengthy so I'll just list my Top Ten Harry Potter moments across all the 7 books/movies in no particular order.They will involve a lot of Voldemort as I believe it was him along with Dumbledore,who really made the book what it is.

• That night when Voldemort comes back in that grave .Fast paced,thrilling and dark.I remember having feared for Harry's dear life.
• Dumbledore vs Voldemort in the Ministry of  Magic.The Only One He Ever Feared
• Dobby dying and Harry digging a grave for him.Touching.I loved that elf for his innocence.
• All the Pensieve moments.A glimpse of James and Lily, Snape's childhood and his past,Voldemort's past in that orphanage and his early interactions with Dumbledore,The Horcruxes-It always left you yearning for more.J.K Rowling could so easily write a prequel to these books.
• Hermione would never be what she was if not for Emma Watson.The Ball in Goblet and the Wedding in Hallows were when she looked her absolute best and I hope no one disagrees.
• The final duel between Voldemort and Harry.For the first time,I could feel that weakness in Voldemort.
• The Quidditch matches and that one with Luna Lovegood's commentary.You could tell that J.K Rowling had quite a sense of humour.It prevented HP from becoming a dark and dreary tale like the latter parts of Eragon became.
• The Dragon fight and the Battle with the Basilisk.Harry at his gritty and brave best.
• Dumbledore' s conversations with Harry at the end of each book.It was a pleasure listening to those mysteries unfold from his mouth.A chalice of endless wisdom.Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore (Don't you just love the ring his name creates)
• I had to do one involving Hagrid (Used to love him as a kid) and none better than when he bursts into the Dudley house to take a young Harry to school,scaring the wits out of Vernon and Petunia.

"Don't count your owls before they are delivered." 

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." 

"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends." 

"Gryffindor , Where Dwell The Brave at Heart"

"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure"

 "Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it." 

Where art thou,Bearded Lord Brahma

I have lived on earth now for precisely 20 years , 6 months and 16 days , and I simply cannot grow a beard.My chin does provide hope from time to time but cheeks are adamant in their non-affinity to any kind of hair.This is for all those brothers of mine in their twenties who are themselves devoid of that feeling of a razor' s touch against their face.It is for those who understand what it feels like to suffer such grave injustice at the hands of the Almighty and can relate to my story.

Maybe you’re a woman or maybe you’re like me – a hairless dude in a world of hairy dudes Maybe you too, have a face as smooth as velvet and  you prefer to call it your "chocolate boy" look in self consolation.Maybe you too had bought a full shaving kit and taken shaving fundae from Dad before leaving for college three years ago ,thinking that you'd need to shave when you get there.Maybe after all this,you finally accepted the truth six months ago and loaned that shaving kit to a friend in your hostel.Maybe your college festival had Nivea as a sponsor and you hoarded a lot of merchandise,only to realize that all you had nicked was shaving gels and aftershaves.Maybe you now have people coming to your room all the time,picking up tube after tube,pack after pack,while you sit there proud of the social service.Maybe you do not have a problem with them taking the stuff,but get pissed when they ungratefully prefix their thank you with a "You won't need it anyway" reeking of derision.Maybe girls don't take you seriously and treat you like the kid among men (You know what I'm talking about).Maybe.

We rank lower on the manly-meter. That’s right, we’re apparently less manly. We, the smooth-cheeked, are not axe-carrying,blue-ox befriending and fighting with fire kind of people. No. We are not the type of guys who answer the phone, “Go,” or answer a knock on our door with “It’s open!” We’re more “Hello?” and “Please come in” people, as we have more time to soften our etiquette with all the time we save not shaving.

I actually don’t want a beard, but I want the option to grow a beard. Because every man, whether he wants a beard or not, loves the idea that if he were in a plane crash and has to live on a deserted island for, like, six years, when the rescue chopper comes, he will emerge from the forest with just a big bushy beard bearing testament to all that struggle,with crab shells and coconut milk all in it. The kind of beard that makes animals no longer fear you. The kind of beard that says, “Yes, I’m wearing a loin cloth, but maybe I can kill a lion.” Not me. I’d scamper out of the bushes all baby-faced and cute.The rescue chopper would leave me there itself because I’d look like a guy who was a tourist on a deserted island for a couple of days,and is just looking for cheap publicity.

Also ,when I get ditched by a girl,I'd want to grow a beard so that I can look depressed and lonely like the guy in 500 days of Summer or The Notebook.I would be the jilted lover,the Devdas and people would cite my example while narrating one of those timeless tragic love stories.But no,All that would never happen with me.I would still be the same Chikna.People would even doubt the veracity of the love I had for the erstwhile bitch just because of the lack of a beard.There would be no visible emotional scars from my torrid breakup and I would look like an ordinary mature chump who can handle his own life.

And yes,I can never become a Professor.Not that I desire such a sad career but I should at least have all  options available.The “intellectually graying professor-beard” with the coffee-stained moustache is a prerequisite for teaching literature, science or math. What will I scratch when you ask a tough question? I can feel people thinking about the alternatives, and then thanking the beard.
Curse you-Androgen
American History X taught me that finishing with a quote adds weight to an article.

"Tradition wears a snowy beard, romance is always young"
John Greenleaf Whittier

Kahaani Belly Dancing Baba Ki

Once upon a time,there lived a man who was ill from head to toe.The story goes that he prayed and prayed until God himself appeared and asked him "What the hell do you want.Please be quick.I am busy watching Khatron ke Khiladi and Poonam Pandey might fulfil her old promises".The man was hurried and excited at the same time at the mention of the pretty damsel.The pervert forgot all about his prior intentions and asked God to make him worthy of such delicious women.God said"Dude,I already made Tushar Kapoor and Riteish Deshmukh.I can't better perfection,but since I know u'll piss your pants in penance again,I'll help you.Go to sleep,son"

The next morning,when he woke up,all his chronic illnesses were gone.He was wearing saffron robes and had a long beard."What the fuck.God made me a stupid Sadhu".Lying on his bedside was a dossier containing the "Life and Times of Swami Nityanand",signed "Dude,Chicks digged him,or vice versa.All the best".He began to admire God's wisdom and began to discover his new body.What was to follow was unfathomable.

God had given him a permanent wink to entice women.Perfect for love at first sight as there would never be a" blink and you miss" moment in his case.In today's discotheque and Nightclub era,He had the perfect moves.He could do a "Hips don't Lie" that would put even Shakira to shame.The Creator had indeed gone one better this time.

His popularity grew and people flocked to him like people in Gulti-land when a Rajnikanth flick releases.He used to dish out random crap about life and peace initially but there was too much competition in this field and he was losing out on all the hotbods.So,the voyeuristic pervert was watching Tashan one day and jerking off on Kareena gyrating to Chhaliya Chhaliya,when he heard about her becoming Size Zero Sexy just by some exercises collectively called Yoga.He thought to himself-"I bloody well have the moves.Why not do something in the garb of this Yoga crap".And hence he was born.Baba Belly Dance.

Times were ripe and he had everything he wanted.Then came 2G scam, Adarsh Society Scam,CWG Scam and the bastard got greedy.Politics was now his new ruthless ambition,but little did he know what was in store.The people who flocked in herds at one gesture of his,were put to use again when he decided to go with the recently fashionable hunger strike gimmick.But you know,politicians are conniving bitches who will always be one up on "Ordinary men".He was trashed by Dick-Vijay Singh and Kapil Sibbal,who called him an insult to the legacy of Osama Ji and Kasab JI.He could feel the rug slipping from beneath his feet.He even tried seducing them by wearing women's clothing and also asked Sushma Swaraj to do the same,but he was kicked out unceremoniously.

He had not given up,was still only eating McD and KFC burgers and Pepsi as part of his hunger strike,but his intestines gave away.Reliance Energy is setting up a new Power Plant to utilize all his Bio-gas and he is in the ICU,exhausted from all the ballooning and bursting.

He tried praying to God again but God only sent him an SMS-"Roadies 8 Ka Finale dekh raha hu,DND"

Internship Survival 101

This is not for my good friends who are away on paid holidays (Read Foreign "Research" internships) and those who love what they do (Read Coding,Marketing,I-Banking).It is for the rest of them,burdened either by the excess of work,or the lack of it,and for the others who just don't want to work.For those forlorn faces,I hereby present IS 101-How to not kill yourself (or others) at an internship.

Internet-God Forbid,if your office desk does not have Internet Access.Plead,Beg,Request,Pain-Do whatever you can to jugaad-o-fy a connection for both your desk and your room.If you are some place in the middle of nowhere where they have plants and shit,You bet you are gonna need it.As it turns out,you might need it for the rest of this course also.

Angry Birds-If you are not yet a fan,good for you.Chances are,you are not yet bored of this awesome awesome game.When boredom sets in,Shoot those damn chickens.

Game of Thrones and Wire-Two epic awesome must watch T.V series.Apart from them,If you haven't watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Prisonbreak yet,again,Good for you-Watch them.But Seriously, Ab tak nahi dekha??? WTF

At Work 1-Please please build a good rapport with your Guide.Project your sincerity,Ask him questions,exhibit fake keenness and interest and show him your ugly face regularly,so that you can bunk later and have extended weekends.If he is strict and distant,which is very rarely the case,it is your extreme bad luck.Sorry Rahega.

At Work 2-In most places,Projects allotted are good and challenging,requiring about 20-25 days of sincere efforts.It is the rest of the time,which you can use to just familiarise yourself with the work ethic.If you feel like,you are dispensable and not needed on a particular day,Dispense yourself (Read Bunk with intelligence).

Ebooks and Novels-If you like to read,you can read E-books in office.It is a geeky suggestion but then,who are we kidding,Aren't we all Nerds??

Fellow Interns-No matter how stupid,irritating,dumb or not your types they seem,Be friendly with them.Chances are they might discover a cool hangout in a Klutz of a place,and not take you with them.Be as gay and hooliganistic as you can be.All IITians dig that.

If you have female interns at your place,Summon all your charms as they are the keys to civilization you possess.If they are ugly,Don't look at them,but talk to them.If they are pretty-Shame on you for being a guy,if you need this post to tell you what to do.

Travel and Tourism-Visit nearby destinations and fully explore the city you are in,India is not such a bad place after all.But don't put up their pics on Facebook please.Apparently,other people have gone to Europe and The States.Don't kid yourself.

Movies-This is Golden Advice.Catch every (Read every) movie that is releasing this summer.Apparently there are some that give you "inner peace" and "horror filled tiltilation".It might be heavy on the wallet but extremely light on the mind.Dhinka-Chika-Dhinka-Chika

Finally,Since you are there for an extended length of time.Learn something.Keep your eyes and other observational anatomy open and you might even gain something from it.Don't shirk work,only shirk office when there is not much to do.

Cheers!!

Freddie Mercury Did you really know

"Another one bites the dust" and "The Show must go on"-I can't help thinking about the recurring suicides in IIT when I hear these two masterful tracks from Queen.A few days ago,another "Mechanical" engineer from IITM succumbed to societal pressures and sadly,ended his life.There were statements from the media,the IIT where it happened,the IIT where these things happen the most,other IITs,parents,friends and peers and now the dust has apparently settled,and life goes on,at the same pace and we wait until something like this happens again,to stop and think.

Now,why does this happen??

How do youngsters who've coped with a stress-buster like IITJEE barely into their teens,get so worked up in a place like IIT which give wings to the thinkers,freedom to explore to the rebels,a chance to discover themselves to the confused ones,and a sound environment for the ones who know their true calling.It is the confused category,to which people generally belong,and hence begin to feel lost when they see so much happening around them.They sure try hard to fit in,and to establish themselves but IIT is just that kind of a place.More than the academic pressure or the societal mores,it is this feeling of being alone amongst a thousand,that is actually the root cause.We can ponder on why it happened,but there can be no valid reason,I'm sorry for committing such a grave and sinister act,which is absolutely beyond logic.It's like saying that the end of life is the end of all problems.Mate,you got it wrong and we are all sorry about that.

Also,since the IITs are like this hallowed home in a country that really doesn't have much to be happy about,Do we blow this out of proportion??

The incessant media coverage forces me to believe that yes,it is indeed a little hyped but hey,that is no excuse for trying to cover things up.And Dear Dean of IITM,Please,IT IS NOT FUCKING STATISTICALLY UNIMPORTANT.Yes Sir,you did no wrong in all of this and are in no way responsible,but being a little sensitive and less of a motormouth would have been nice.Even the system is only slightly at fault,due to its silly obsession with numbers.It is rigorous,but then it is a harbinger of the nation's best minds.It deserves to be rigorous,give them more and more challenges and prepare them for the demons of workaholicism,that lurk outside,smacking their lips and ready to pouch on them,knowing that these are indeed their best bet.The college deserves that much,and trust me it is not like we are being killed with 8 hrs of lectures like the doctors,or classes after classes like the CA's.It is indeed a balanced system,with,as I said,a little more adherence to numbers than their should be.But then,Is there such a thing as a perfect system?

To reduce this malaise,I feel that people should stop treating IIT as an antibiotic-a cure for all problems,or as an easy way to succeed in life.It is primarily an institute for engineers and thinkers,and not wannabes who just want to live off the IIT Brand,which by the way,is kinda my plan too.Disinterest and lack of spirit in whatever you do,can really cause a catastrophe and it is really time for parents and students alike,to understand that.It is akin to surviving and flourishing in a place where an entirely different language is being spoken,as my friends on foreign interns might be realizing .India is changing and we need to think beyond the Doctor-Engineer route.Amongst other possibilities , a revamp of the curriculum-as in the syllabus,including more real life elements with an emphasis on basic skills,would be a good heads up.

On the personal level,a lot has been done and said about student counsellors ,but then they are redundant if the student does not go and tell him his problems,which most of us actually fail to realize.For a start,people need to talk about this more seriously,and not treat it like it's sex or something-a supposed taboo topic. The onus is on the students and parents to change an entire train of thought.

IIT needs to be the tough guy,people.Softening it up ain't a solution.To end I'd like to quote one of my favourite writers

“You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.”

Ernest Hemmingway

Dovetails,Petals,Curtains and Colours

She once asked He to write something for her.

I am only the voice behind his thoughts.This is their story.

"Whenever James Blunt croons "You're Beautiful" in his incredibly love lost and smooth sailing voice,a series of images flash in front of his eyes.Against a chasm of hazy and electric blue,it is due to that breathtakingly pretty face of hers,that there is stillness and quiet,despite the divaricate and chaotic imagery that his thoughts are conjuring.With a curt smile gracing her rose petal lips ,she teases him and he gets lost in the realm of those watery eyes,which always seem like they are saying something.

She is constantly pushing back tufts of her silken hair,that braze her blossom cheeks like curtain braids which brush against him,as he stares out the balcony.The nose is his favorite though.He says it looks like a little piglet's nose and she twitches it dismissively like Nicole Kidman in Bewitched.She is still smiling at him ,this time playfully and is generous enough to give us glimpses of the pearls that glint inside.

He fondly remembers that for the first few years that he had known her,he used to remain tongue tied in her presence.The angel like aura that she had ,a mere mortal admirer like him could only be left speechlessly spellbound.The sun however did shine on him , and they became.I daresay,the best of friends in due course.

He would now know that behind the blinding light that she emanated from a distance,there was an innocent and childishly enthusiastic,almost naive persona.She would be distant and cold one moment and unbelievingly caring and affectionate the next.They fought on petty matters and she used to shower him with those cute and snarly death threats, twitch that pigletty nose and strut off into the distance.The moments when they used to talk about life,love and what not,she would listen, dreamily at that,and he would think that he was boring her.When she talked ,he would have to make conscious attempts to listen and not stare,for he was just so badly smitten.He was slipping into something totally unknown to him.

All this while,the beauty was absolutely oblivious.God's almost pitch perfect work of art,was an artist herself and her world was all about colors and canvasses.Splashes and dashes of blue and hue, wavy motions of the hand,sometimes caressing the canvass,sometimes almost dismissive,she would bring to life the most vivid sequoia of flowers-pink,green and indigo.Images of lonely boatmen on the horizon,feeling the orange radiant sunset,or of the tranquil sea,lashing against bedrocks and carrying away so much with it.She could talk to colors and felt at home in their company , looking at ceilings and walls,floors and parapets and wonder if peacocks or umbrellas could grace them.She would get so engrossed that the world around her ceased to be a world per se ,and a void,an emptiness,would set in as soon as she set the paintbrush down.She yearns for similar passion , a love that is blind and will not judge her devout and sometimes abstract creative streak and just love her for what she is.She is aware that a Utopian World does not exist and yet she strives for that eluding extra inch of perfection-something she has always secretly dreamt of.

She asks him sometimes,the meanings of life's mysteries and unpredictable ways and he just glances at her and smiles.He is as clueless,if not more about what life holds in store.The world confuses both of them,and yet  words and colors keep them going.They glide along seamlessly through separate ways and keep reliving their struggles with each other.Their philosophies and their paths are as different as chalk and cheese and yet they are so similar.She smiles at him,this one killer and electric.Sometimes,his heart skips a beat when she does that.Her colors are calling her out once again and she flies out to them,with unparalleled vigour and fairy grace.Meanwhile,James Blunt is done with his ballad.The F.R.I.E.N.D.S Theme Song is now playing.

How apt and how excruciatingly beautiful.

He closes his eyes and tells her,silently, that they will always be friends and will live on in each other.She has now almost finished reading this.It is eerie and late at night.I am sure she has a lot to say.

Dhobi Ghat,Mumbai etc

Disclaimer : This is not a 26th January post about how we only get patriotic on certain days and blah blah,nor is it a chastity filled lashing at those who do not even bother to fake patriotism even on those days.

It has been barely half an hour since I watched "Dhobi Ghat" and yes,it blew my mind so damn hard that I just had to write this down.The movie in essence, is not a theatrical at all.For all I care , It could have been a poem with floating,resonating lyric or a photo slideshow with those still images,silently speaking out much much more than the cacophonic movie fare (Read Akshay Kumar movies) that we are treated to,these days.A sordid tale about a city one can't help falling in love with, Kiran Rao,the debutant director has sketched her characters with surreal expertise,each one of them defining Mumbai in their own way.

Prateik,The dhobi represents the fighter that Mumbai is, doing what it can to make ends meet and yet,never giving up on their dream-of making it big.The innocent pining and longing,with the shy shrugs and the almost sweet way with which he interacts with Monica Dogra's character is a high point of the movie.The other male protagonist,the perfectionist Aamir Khan , plays a loner painter in the movie and gets into the skin of his character with typically consummate ease.He is the Mumbai ,which is not sure of itself , who has loved and lost and carries on,looking for inspiration in a couple of video tapes that he chances by.

Monica Dogra as the hotshot American banker,out on a sabbatical,is the Mumbai that is trying to come to terms with it's own essence,through her photography and of course her love soirees. "Posh and elite but not at all distant from ground reality"-this trait of her's was something really impressive.And yes of course,she is very pretty :P.Kriti Malhotra plays the Muslim wife who wants to capture Mumbai through her video camera and ends up being a muse or a subject to Aamir Khan ,displays moments of true cinematic brilliance with her innocent eyes and almost unbelievable endearance.She is the Mumbai which is puzzled by it's own pace and instead of running with it like Monica or Prateik do,she choses to sit back and take the feeling in ,losing strength but not her innate sweetness.Easily my favourite character in the movie ,just because of my obsession with "CUTENESS".

Last but not the least,there are fleeting images of the old ,silent woman, who is the Mumbai that is dying and decaying , silently observing what goes on around her ,too powerless to say anything and yet ALIVE by all means.A fantastic movie for the purely artsy people.To me it felt like a breath of fresh cinema,like someone's silk dupatta blowing across my face.Though I agree,not everyone will like it.