Once upon a time,there lived a man who was ill from head to toe.The story goes that he prayed and prayed until God himself appeared and asked him "What the hell do you want.Please be quick.I am busy watching Khatron ke Khiladi and Poonam Pandey might fulfil her old promises".The man was hurried and excited at the same time at the mention of the pretty damsel.The pervert forgot all about his prior intentions and asked God to make him worthy of such delicious women.God said"Dude,I already made Tushar Kapoor and Riteish Deshmukh.I can't better perfection,but since I know u'll piss your pants in penance again,I'll help you.Go to sleep,son"
The next morning,when he woke up,all his chronic illnesses were gone.He was wearing saffron robes and had a long beard."What the fuck.God made me a stupid Sadhu".Lying on his bedside was a dossier containing the "Life and Times of Swami Nityanand",signed "Dude,Chicks digged him,or vice versa.All the best".He began to admire God's wisdom and began to discover his new body.What was to follow was unfathomable.
God had given him a permanent wink to entice women.Perfect for love at first sight as there would never be a" blink and you miss" moment in his case.In today's discotheque and Nightclub era,He had the perfect moves.He could do a "Hips don't Lie" that would put even Shakira to shame.The Creator had indeed gone one better this time.
His popularity grew and people flocked to him like people in Gulti-land when a Rajnikanth flick releases.He used to dish out random crap about life and peace initially but there was too much competition in this field and he was losing out on all the hotbods.So,the voyeuristic pervert was watching Tashan one day and jerking off on Kareena gyrating to Chhaliya Chhaliya,when he heard about her becoming Size Zero Sexy just by some exercises collectively called Yoga.He thought to himself-"I bloody well have the moves.Why not do something in the garb of this Yoga crap".And hence he was born.Baba Belly Dance.
Times were ripe and he had everything he wanted.Then came 2G scam, Adarsh Society Scam,CWG Scam and the bastard got greedy.Politics was now his new ruthless ambition,but little did he know what was in store.The people who flocked in herds at one gesture of his,were put to use again when he decided to go with the recently fashionable hunger strike gimmick.But you know,politicians are conniving bitches who will always be one up on "Ordinary men".He was trashed by Dick-Vijay Singh and Kapil Sibbal,who called him an insult to the legacy of Osama Ji and Kasab JI.He could feel the rug slipping from beneath his feet.He even tried seducing them by wearing women's clothing and also asked Sushma Swaraj to do the same,but he was kicked out unceremoniously.
He had not given up,was still only eating McD and KFC burgers and Pepsi as part of his hunger strike,but his intestines gave away.Reliance Energy is setting up a new Power Plant to utilize all his Bio-gas and he is in the ICU,exhausted from all the ballooning and bursting.
He tried praying to God again but God only sent him an SMS-"Roadies 8 Ka Finale dekh raha hu,DND"
Good but Vulgar..:D
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