Indian Premier League ke side effects

The Indian Premier League is back again, and has so far been controversy free after the towel-gate revelation last year. All said about Sreesanth, I miss the dancing, crying, slapping and all the other histrionics he did, in the name of fast bowling. Anyways, like every year, the IPL has managed to catch the eye of the cricket crazy Indian audience, in more ways than one.

1. The Theme Song : How they do it, I have no idea. But they sure do it really well. My friends who are into marketing can really learn from the IPL. They make the most irritating songs (Read Jumping Jhapang and Come on, Bulava Aaya hai) and even more moronic dance videos with Sidhu twirling his moustache and Jadeja leaning on cheerleaders, and yet their songs are on everyone's lips. Including Yours truly. Hats off on this one.

2. The Advertisements : I am still not over the " Mujhe bhi jaana hai, papa" ad from last year by SBI home loans and this year, we have Hema Malini selling Kent water purifiers with RO and UV technology, in her bland voice which puts you off to sleep. To her credit, they are better than the election ads of the Congress with our dear RaGa striking random poses, or the 10000 BJP ads. Ab Ki Baar, Aur Mat Pakao Yaar.

3. The One who never shuts up : Undoubtedly, he is the Salman Khan of the commentary box. Like him, he never makes sense, says awesome catch-phrases and anecdotes and yes, dances like a buffoon who has had to hold his pee for quite a long time. However, he is funny at times, and does run a one man show. People like listening to him, and I guess he is here to stay.

4. The Experts : You had wished the world had ended before Sachin Tendulkar retired. But now, you wish the world had ended before Shoaib Akhtar (of the fake accent) was hired as a cricket expert. Ramiz Raza is biased, Ravi Shastri is cliched, yes but even they at least tried to talk cricket, rather than calling fellow commentators tharki. Ajay Jadeja, Chetan Sharma and Kiran More, the less said the better. Only, lone ranger Harsha Bhogle holds fort. We miss you Sunny Sir. You could have praised Tendulkar for sitting in the Mumbai dug out and be the total team man, and spared us this bull shit.

5. The Hindi Commentary : The fact that they do not talk sense, is something that is very well known. But this year, simple reporting of facts too, is beyond them. Very clearly, they look into the TV monitor while speaking. One can forgive innocent enthusiastic mistakes like " Shaandar shot ek run ke liye", " Hawa mein khel diya hai stadium se bahar, aur ye catch out" but how on earth am I expected to live with " Aur ye fir se 6 run, Oh nahi ye toh pichli gend ka replay dikhaya hai". Sigh.

You know you are in HEL(L) when

"Chal peene" are your favourite two words. So much so, that you say it every time you get screwed in a test or a presentation. Basically, everyday

In case you are an engineer, when you got admission your friends were most excited about the awesome DU girls you will get to meet.

You love to move about in IIM-L Tshirts, Sweat shirts etc. You have such a huge collection that you hardly have any other clothes.

In case you came into IIM-L single, you are still single.

If you were committed when you came to IIM-L, you are still committed but the object (guy/girl) has changed.

In the first year, you felt the whole Internet, infrastructure, mess and the entire system sucks. When you entered the second year, you realized that status quo is the best way to move forward.

You hate the PGP office with more vengeance than Thakur hated Gabbar or Harry hated Voldemort.

You have spammed more than once in your life. And have also shown disgust at somebody else’s spam.

You free-ride most of the time and yet bitch about other people in the group freeriding.

You are convinced that Not Just Tea's food is much better than GNB’s and GNB inflates canteen bills. Or Vice Versa.  Although there is no evidence to prove the same.

You realize some things need to be changed. But when they do, you create a furore and dare the person who changed them.

You have not seen the cover of most of the books of the subject you have already passed with a decent grade.

Your favourite game is “Candy Crush Saga".

You participate in every damn college competition. Even if it is an operations or an HR game and you are a hardcore finance person.

You do social work to build up CV points. In fact, you believe that the very reason for human existence is "collection of CV points”.

You are an absolute stud at Googling and can unearth reports from Scribd, Management Paradise etc on any topic without even batting an eyelid. Also, you know how to fool Turnitin.

You are terrified of QAM-3 even though you had aced the very same concepts during engineering.

Your most often visited websites are Wikipedia, SlideShare and Facebook.

You feel that Gupta Ji is the most important person on campus, particularly at the end of a gruelling week.

No matter how busy you are, you will definitely find time to read such silly attempts of your batch-mates.

.

Reviewnakam Chennai Express La

Ye movie dekhne ka baad hum sochti ki hum ye movie kyu dekhti. Isse achcha toh hum room pe download karke Twilight hi dekh leti. Movie mein kam se kam 5 times murder and yeleven times suicide karne ka mann karti. Ek time hoti jab Shahrukh typical loverboy role mein acha lagti. Kuch Kuch Hoti Hai, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham La, Veer Zaaramma etc dekhne jaati toh shahrukh acha lagti aur hum uska fan ban jaati. Lekin vo apne star power ko misuse karti. Rab ne Bana di Jodi se Jab tak hai Jaan aur natural disaster Ra One mein vo typical constipated face banaati, arms outstretch karti aur overacting karti. Usko lagti ki audience chutiya hoti and ki uska star power se movie bina story ke hit ho jaati. Ye trend vo is fillim mein bhi continue karti. Vo poori movie mein apna funny endearing caricature banane ka koshish karti aur usko overdo karke sudience ko irritate karti. Hum kasam khaati peeti ki srk ka ab se koi movie nahi dekhti. Ab hum movie ka review degi. Isme spoiler hoti toh please toh isko vohi padhti jo dekhne nahi jaati aur paisa bachaati.

First thing's first, Chennai Express puraane Bollywood movies ka south Indian khichdi hoti ( rasam, payasam humko pata nahi hoti aur hum research karne ka effort bhi nahi karti). Jab We Met aur Dhai Akshar Prem ke ka plot mix karti. Movie shuru hoti jaha SRK finally apne aap ko 40 ka bataati lekin abhi bhi vo Rahul hoti. Uska dadaji ek number ka moron hoti kyunki vo Sachin ke 99 pe out hone pe ille ho jaati aur fir chutiyaap last wish bolti ki 50% ashes in Ganga and 50% in Rameshwaram mein immerse karti. Rohit Shetty death ko funnily treat karna chahti aur insensitive ho jaati jab vo SRK aur uske gay friends ko Goan holiday pe bhejti. SRK moral dilemma dikhaati toh einsteinamma logic milta ki goa ka paani eventually jaa ke rameshwaram mein milti. I hope mere urinal ka paani shahrukh ke muh dhone ka paani mein jaa ke mil jaati hum happy hoti.

Cut to Chennai Express la where Deepika periyathalai (DON) ka beti hoti jo ghar se bhaag jaati coz usko weird beard vaale giant milkman type Don se kalyanam nahi karna hoti. 4 heavy heavy gunda SRK ke Nokia Ad se irritate ho ke uska phone fek deti jo bohot achcha karti. Usko bhi fek deti toh aur mazza aati lekin Rohit Shetty aisa nahi karne deti. Vo ab Tamilians ko stereotype karti, Idli khilaati, train mein dirty lungi pehnaati lekin thoda thoda song sequence funny lagti. Deepika cute lagti aur vo movie ka wonly actor hoti jo movie ko bearable banaati. Also, SRK aur Shetty apne old movies ka fun udaati, jisko vo overdo karke kill kar deti. Anyways, SRK Deepika ko bachaana ka chakkar mein Komban pahuch jaati jaha Deepika bolti he is my lover and Father Naariyal cutter nikaalta aur fighting match rakh deta. Dher saara stupidity hota, Unbearable songs bajta jisme SRK aur slutty item girl loud dance karte and surprisingly jo never before hota in Bollywood, in the end, hero heroine ko naatak karte karte real mein pyaar ho jaati. Awwwwwwwwwww.
End mein SRK thoda maarti thoda maar khaati ek lecture deti aur yellow dhoti vaala DON khush ho ke smile deti. Beech mein vo DDLJ style mein Deepika ka haath bhi pakadti but Tamil mein "Jaa lee apni Zindagi nahi bolti"

Also, Rohit Shetty tum itna car kyun udaati. Tumko pata hai car kitna mehenga hoti. Log life ka saving kar ke car khareedti aur tum apna har movie mein car udaati aur bomb kar deti. Aur 70% movie ko tum Tamil mein kyu banaati. Humaara hair nochne ko mann karti. Hum ille pille sunne ko nahi aati. Kabhi kabhi okay lagti but limit ho jaati.
Movie ke end mein Rajni Sir ko tribute hoti jo humko mockery lagti kyunki Coconut mein lassi milaa ke sirf SRK jaisa chutiyappam hi pee sakti.